Do you remember the old episodes of the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote? When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to tear out of bed on Saturday morning, pour a giant bowl of cereal and watch in anticipation of the coyote actually catching him.
Then it happened.
One Saturday, as we were watching our usual cartoon fare, there was an announcement that in a TV special the following week the coyote would actually catch the road runner. Oh joy! We counted the days, and as the episode began we could hardly hold back our anticipation.
Then it happened. Wile E. Coyote actually caught the Road Runner. Only it wasn’t at all like he (or we) thought it would be. You see, due to some cause I can’t remember (do you?), he had shrunk to the size of an insect, so when he grabbed the Road Runner’s foot he was much too small to do any harm.
We were crestfallen. We felt like our hopes had been shattered, and our trust betrayed. Big on promise, short on delivery.
Big on promise, short on delivery. It sounds a lot like what often happens when we finally get “the thing” we’ve been chasing after, whether it’s the job, the relationship, the big deal, or whatever. We spend a lot of time and energy chasing after the promise of “the thing”, but once we get it we realize that “the thing” wasn’t really what we wanted at all. (I recently wrote another post about this called Chasing Vapor.)
While there’s nothing wrong with chasing “the thing”, (we should have big goals and plans and dreams!), we need to fall in love with the process, and not the end product of our work. A writer writes regardless of whether they get accolades. A designer creates order and meaning from chaos regardless of whether she is recognized. And an artist – of any capacity – makes their art whether or not they ever get the raise or the corner office or the bigger platform to share their work.
So while you’re chasing “the thing” make sure that you’re nurturing your process. It’s the only thing you can truly control, and it’s the thing you’ll always have regardless of where you end up. Otherwise, you might find yourself a little speck of a coyote standing on a giant road runner’s foot wondering what to do next.
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Great article and sound advice. Thanks for sharing this.
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One of my favorite lessons I learned from Tony Robbins was his Six Human Needs Psychology.
He talks about how we all have six primary needs that drive our behavior. 4 of them we have to meet just to get by on a day to day basis. The other 2 are the only way we will feel fulfilled in our lives.
The needs go as such…
1. Certainty: We need to know that things are gonna be ok. Chaos can’t be a constant.
2. Un-certainty: We need variety. We’d be bored out of our minds if we knew how everything was going to happen every minute of the day.
3. Significance: We need to feel like we matter.
4. Love/connection: We need to feel appreciated by someone.
The higher level needs…
5. Contribution: Giving of our greatest gifts towards an endeavor that serves more than ourselves
6. Growth: We either grow or we die.
Number 5 & 6 are what I believe you’re speaking to in your post Todd and I commend you for sharing with the world this inspiring message!!! Thank you!
Ah! Two responses:
1. Was just thinking of this with regard to toys/games I’ve bought for my 12yo. He sometimes plays a game far past being fun, because he’s all too aware of how much it cost, and is worried we’ve wasted our money (sometimes his, sometimes mine, sometimes both). The discussion: the anticipation, the going-to-the-store, the bringing it home and unwrapping it — SO fun! …let’s try to remember that, too.
2. Plan B: Remember the piece of cake in Alice in Wonderland, with a note that said, “Eat me”? It made her grow. Call it an allegory, and consider what we can do to stretch our perceptions – our self image – to see that roadrunner from an expanded point of view. I am not intending at all to disagree with what you say here, Todd… I totally agree, and am grateful for the reminder! This just occurred to me as I read the last lines of your post.
So true! This is exactly what going to the gym is like. We desire the physique so much but we don’t fall in love with the idea of improving our health and if we get that physique, are we willing to maintain it? That’s why most people can’t even go that far. There is a disconnect in motive, priority, and personal morale.