One of the struggles I’ve had over time in my creating is the tyranny of the “ought.”

I “ought” to do this or that.

This especially plays out in my study, my unnecessary creating and in some of my creative choices throughout the day. When I make decisions based upon what I think I should do rather than what I really want to do, there are almost always consequences.

Now, this isn’t excusing blatantly poor decision making. There are some things we ought to do simply because they are the right things. I’m mostly talking about decisions where there are a few perfectly viable options but I choose the guilt-laden one.

For example, I’ve found over time that my study almost always yields better results if I’m reading something that I truly enjoy rather than something that I think will be “good for me.” It’s important to read things that challenge us, but not in such a way that our life becomes one of obligation.

The same thing applies to my unnecessary creating. I realize that it often gets filled up with things I feel obligated to make because I once thought it would be a good idea. Now I’m simply following-through (out of guilt) on an idea I once had but am no longer excited about.

There are some things we do because we know they are good for us, (eating well, practicing physical self-discipline, etc.), and there are some things that are purely a matter of taste and discretion in the moment. I’m trying to become more aware of how guilt and obligation plays out in my life, especially as it relates to my creating.

One of the questions I’ve been asking myself lately is, “am I doing this because I think it’s the best thing, or because I think it will make things easier?” I’ve realized that often my choice to create out of obligation is made in order to avoid difficult conversations or push things through the queue, even when I’m not so crazy about the idea any longer.

We can’t fool ourselves. Deep down we really know how we feel about an idea or project. It’s better just to be honest about it and act on what we think is best. It’s a good way to avoid unnecessary dissonance in our life and creating. At least it is for me.